The fire escape of your soul

i woke up feeling angry and frustrated this morning. for a few reason. and after being awake for about an hour those feelings turned into apathy with a twinge of sadness.

do you know what i miss?
having a passion. where is mine?

my friend Joshua let me borrow this book called The Dead Emcee Scrolls by Saul Williams. love it. its basically poetry and it makes me miss the days when i carried my journal around in my purse in case my brain suddenly kicked into gear. and i would feverishly write all my jumbled thoughts on stupid paper than only i was ever going to read. but i loved writing and I've almost completely stopped. which is going to change. even if its blogging or something. either way my brain is alive with thought and conflict. it would do me good to shut my mouth more often.

I used to read my poems to her over the phone so she couldn't see what a liar i was. She would call me late at night, "anything new?!" and i could hear the smile in her voice. i would read 2 or 3 and she would sigh, "more tomorrow?" and I would tell her that I'd try but i always had them. She fell in love with the subject of my poems. She fell in love with his startling blue eyes and his laborer hands. So i lost my eager audience and i buried my passion indefinitely.
now i stand above a box full of my rantings and I' m searching.



I am no earthling. I drink moonshine on Mars
and mistake meteors for stars 'cause I can't hold
my liquor. But I can hold my breath and ascend
like wind to the black hole and play galaxophones
on the fire escape of your soul.

Blowing tunes through lunar wombs. Impregnating
stars. giving birth to suns that darken the skins that
skin our drums. and we be beatin infinity over sacred
hums. Spinning funk, like myrrh until Jesus comes.

-saul williams

The Misadventures of Miss Marri Jane [burnt eyelashes and a case of the laffys]

(1) so the other night whilst I was partaking in certain festivities [if you catch my drift...nudge nudge wink wink], i singed my eyelashes. yes...i said it.

as you all know, i broke herbert not too long ago and he's become very short and I was burning the contents of my bowl, I got too close to my eyelashes. as if they weren't short enough as it is. freakin ridiculous. such a stupid stoner moment. fortunately you can't tell unless I'm not wearing mascara.

(2) and now I have yet another story. the other night we [shani, hunter, rich, joseph] were at shani's smoking in their little back patio area, which is quite minuscule. and we were all flying like kites. and me, shani and rich were all giggling to ourselves, separately. then joseph comes out of nowhere and says, "ya'll got the laffys." like it was the most normal fucking thing to say. and we all just started busting up laughing and mid laugh rich goes, "sorry guys i can't come to school today, I got the chuckles." and the laughing fit worsened considerably.





my weekend was eventful and relaxing at the same time. i loved it. freddie got fingered is hilarious!
=]

spooning leads to forking.

random-ness

did you know that the predictive txt on my phone does not, in fact, have the word nipples in it. which was annoying and inconvenient as i was trying to explain how big someones were to douglas.

I'm quite beside myself with boredom. i walked to the BK Lounge [hahahahaha] earlier. and got so full i thought i would be birthing a food baby in the hour. fortunately no such events took place.

also, i walked to the park, with the intention of swinging on the swings, but alas, some small children were playing. I sent lisa a txt about the damn runts on the swings. she said she couldn't imagine why children would be at a playground. sarcastic ninny.

then I came home and doodled on everything in sight and now I'm breathing in the permanent marker fumes all over my comforter. fabulous. three cheers to dying brain cells.

bad news: my dearest HERBert is broken. I dropped him in a gutter the other night [wtf...apparently the gutters are all out to get me.] he's still smokable, but its harsh and awkward. poor guy.

i think its funny that i blog b/c I mostly do it when i'm bored or something. and douglas is the only one who follows my blog. oh well.

PAUSE. <----------- this is me pausing my blog so that HERBert and I can have a..."chat"...if you will. excusez-moi, bitches.

poor broken HERBy never fails me. I'll be sad to let him go sometime in the near future [when I'm not drastically below the poverty line...ok, i know...a bit dramatic, right?]

well it has come time to bring this riveting literary masterpiece to a close. time to carry on with my ever eventful evening. and hopefully have some more interesting shit to talk about later.

later douglas =]

and any one else that happens to stumble upon this. end.
p.s. the title has nothing to do with the blog. are you disappointed. hmm?